Monday, January 30, 2006

On Writing...

Let me start by saying that I've never really experienced a heavy dose of writer's block until this past year. I don't even know if I would call it a 'block' really. It was more like a 'disenchantment' with the whole writing-for-publication struggle. Questions and doubt assailed me. Why am I putting myself through this? Maybe I don't have what it takes. Why bother?

Well, needless to say, these doubts caused me to stop writing. It drained my motivation and creativity. And this had negative affects on other areas of my life. I wasn't writing. That spark wasn't inside me. It depressed me. Made me unhappy with so many other things.

Now, I have it back - and THANK GOD it came back! My creative spark is intricately tied into my entire life and well being. The two are not, nor will they ever be, separate entities. I realized that I needed to step back and stop obsessing so hard about getting published, to stop allowing it to hang over my head like a dark cloud. That I needed to rediscover the joy and excitement again in my writing.

I took a good, long look at myself, my goals and the kinds of stories that inspired me when I was young, the kind of stories that made me want to be a writer, and I began to write again. I don't care if what I'm working on now fits into any genre, if the market is hot or not for it, if my tale is generally written this way, or that way. Don't care. I've always written stories I love, and in genres that I love - but, I think it's important sometimes to 'let go' of publication obsession for a little while, too. I think that's where I got hung up. I want so much to be published, to be able to tell my husband that all his support hasn't been in vain. And I want it for myself because I know I can do it, because it's what I was meant to do - so much so, that I can't seem to follow through and do anything else with my life or hold down any kind of profession. It's hard to let that kind of 'want' go, but for my sanity, I had to! And it has helped a lot.

I'm still pursuing publication, but for once I'm not obsessing over it or letting it get in the way of my creativity. I'm writing MY kind of story, and I haven't felt this exhilarated and optimistic in a long time.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Me and My Dairy Cow

Last night I was playing EQII with my dark elf enchanter - she has the abililty to charm enemies and then make them fight for her. So there I was running around this vast area known as the Commonlands (mountains, caves, farms, rivers, valleys, etc...). Lots to do there. Well, I was on a quest to kill some orcs, and I decided to charm a creature to help me out.

And you gueesed it. I charmed a dairy cow. Oh, there were far more intimidating creatures lurking about - lions, griffins, ghosts... But I saw that dairy cow and knew we were meant to battle together. Imagine my surprise whenever she attacked, she'd moo LOUDLY the whole time. I nearly peed my pants. Other players online would run by on their way somewhere, stop and then backpeddle to watch us go at it.

With the hub gone for 2 weeks, the child in bed - this is how I amused myself last night.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Back on track...

Whew. Okay, I'm back on schedule now with the writing. I was panicking a little since the 'creativity well' had seemingly dried up.

On another note - it sucks royally when you've come up with a completely new angle and concept for a book, you write it, and then a NY bestselling author's book hits the shelves and it basically the same concept as yours. Gah. 'Nough said.

Just ordered 'Jewel of Atlantis' and 'Unleash the Night'... Woo-hoo! I'll be a happy reader in a few days.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

I've Been A Very Bad Girl...

So, so bad. :) My sister got me into EverQuest II and now I can't stop playing it! For those who don't know, it's a massive online roleplaying game set in a world of good and evil fantasy. You interact (or not, if you don't feel like it) with others playing the game. I have two characters, one is a bad dark elf and the other is a good wood elf. The dark elf has dark, gray skin, white hair and light, light blue eyes. The wood elf has tatoos on her face and her profession is a scout. The dark elf is an enchanter. I've been running around killing things for a week, and making money and buying and selling things. Each character even has to eat and rent a room to live in, etc... It's so cool. And when you choose your character race (human, elf, halfling, gnome, etc..), you also choose a profession (scout, mage, warrior or priest) - the best part is that you totally shape the appearance - full lips, thin, wide, narrow - eye color, tilt, brows, hair color, highlights and style, the shape of the face and body. Can you tell I'm addicted? Gah. Like I needed this. Oddly, enough, though, it is inspiring me to work on my second Wardsmen books since that, too, is semi-fantasy. Well, that's my excuse anyway!

I'm going to try and limit my playing, and use this as a reward for when I'm done my word count.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Happy New Year

I'm baaaaack... :)

So how was everyone's holiday? Mine was good. I'm ready to get into the New Year and get things accomplished. I have writing goals, life goals, weight goals (to lose fifteen pounds by summer - seems easy doesn't it? It's just fifteen pounds, but man, oh man, they're the stubborn lbs that have been lurking ever since my daughter was born five years ago!).

I put up a new blog link for my friend Kelli Estes. She's a great gal. We met at RWA nationals in Dallas. Hi Kelli!

I've got a lot of catching up to do since I was gone all week, then I'm going to start writing full blast...