George Carlin, that is:
"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."
"Deep Throat: Think about it. There is actually a semi-important figure in American history who is named for a blow-job movie. How do school teachers handle this?"
"George Washington's brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country."
“I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin' heroic.”
"Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward."